I am a person. I am not always happy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week; sometimes I feel sad, sometimes I feel angry. Sometimes I see brokenness in the world and I feel like I am dying inside because I want to fix it! I am a person. I am not continuously grateful for everything and everyone 100% of the time. Because sometimes, I don't feel grateful! Sometimes I feel betrayed, other times I feel deceived. Because I am a person. And I am tired of the schools of thought and the judgmental eyes that offer up their plates of useless opinion when I am not 100% floating up there in false pretenses of perfection. I do not want to be false. I want to be a person. And I want to feel and I want to think and no, not everything in life is something to be grateful for; and no, not everything in the world is something to be happy about. I am a person. My face can do a lot of things aside from smiling. My face can look peaceful, it can look thoughtful, it can look Divine. I can frown and sometimes my eyebrows are scrunched up in the middle; that's because I am thinking! I am a person. A person that is so much more than what popular opinion expects is the definition of perfection. But I AM perfect. I am perfect the very way that I am. And I would never want to be only what popular thought would expect of me. I am so much more than that.
C. JoyBell C.
Jamie leaned over. And your perfect world?Mmm, Helen smiled. Perfect is complicated. Hard to explain.Give it a shot, I prodded her.It’s… beautiful is the best word to describe it, she said.Jamie and I nodded.Everything that isn’t necessary to getting what we want is gone, she said, eyes closing, as if she was vividly imagining. There’s an abundance of it all, thanks to science. Food is everywhere and it overflows and there’s nothing to worry about because we have and we want and we take. We’re and by we I mean people, we’re everywhere and we spill over into one another and we’re all knit together, physically and mentally. It’s an exquisite landscape of things that don’t ever run out to see and touches and tastes and smells and mating and eating and mindless fighting and eating-mating and fighting-eating and fighting-Okay, I said, interrupting. I paused, then when I couldn’t think of what to say. Okay.Helen reached down to her plate, used a fingertip to wipe up a bit of frosting and popped it into her mouth, sucking it off.Okay, I said, still at a bit of a loss for words.That’s a mental image that’s going to be with me forever, Jamie said, dropping his head down until his face was in his hands.I don’t see where ethics come into that world, I said, more to see Jamie’s reaction than out of curiosity.No, Jamie said. Don’t-The closer you get to perfection, the further you get from ethics, Helen said, as if it was common sense.